Here Comes Trouble

We have all the preparations done. The baby gates are bought, the outlets are plugged and the cabinets are baby-proofed. However, it has always been my firm belief that Rachel and I are in for loads more trouble than we could ever expect once the kids get mobile. For instance, when I was a toddler, I ate a stick of deodorant. Took it right off of a bathroom sink and ate it. Poison Control alerted my family that despite the disgusting, pine tree fresh scent in my mouth and the extreme salivation, I would survive. I'm sure if I dug deep enough, equally disturbing and disgusting stories about toddler Rachel would surface. Now we are left to wait for the payback for our tormenting of our parents and relatives.

Well, back to our worry about the day that the kids discover forward movement. Ummm, that time has come. Micah began the fledgling practice of crawling today, and has not stopped since. This video does not do him justice, as he is already discovering the entire living room. In the past 12 hours, he has chewed on more dog toys than Tyson has, and that is not a good thing.

Malorie, for her part, is getting more and more anxious to move as she watches Micah go. She gets up on her hands and knees and lurches back and forth several times before collapsing and then scooting backwards in frustration. However, I'm sure that true to form she will soon be crawling better than Micah, as it seem the twins teach each other new tricks daily. Either way, a monumental shift has occurred here this week - there goes our serene, stationary babies, and here comes trouble.

Easter in Klugsville (By Rachel)

Once upon a time in the land of Klugsville there lived two sweet, adorable babies named Micah and Malorie. Although Micah and Malorie were twins, they were very different. Micah was a brute. He was loud, rambunctious, and wacky. Mal was dainty. She was sweet and poised just like a princess. They were the best of friends and very popular amongst the land. One of their most dependable friends was their dog, Tyson.


This particular weekend was Easter. It was Micah and Malorie's first Easter in Klugsville. They began the festivities on Saturday by going to church for an Easter Egg Hunt. Everyone at church knew Micah and Malorie and were anxiously anticipating their arrival. As they strolled through the front doors, they were showered with gifts, hugs, kisses, and love. They played games and even met the real Pontius Pilate. When it was time for the hunt, they were offered special privileges due to the fact that they were not old enough to actually pick up eggs.

Tyson stayed home to guard the house. Dogs were not allowed in church.

After the hunt Micah and Malorie came home to prepare for Easter. They had guests arriving and wanted the house to look perfect. They picked out their best Easter dress and made sure all of their spit up had been cleaned.

Tyson got a bath... his Easter scarf remained in his dog basket.

On Sunday morning the twins were in great spirits. They got dressed and went to church to celebrate the Lord. He had risen! Malorie sang her Alleluias (during the announcements) and Micah laughed (during the Gospel).

Tyson stayed home. He sat in his chair looking outside, wishing he had gotten an Easter walk.


When Micah and Malorie got home from church they realized the Easter Bunny had come! He left them baskets filled to the brim with goodies. Tyson did not get a basket, and he wasn't allowed to bark at or chase the bunny.

When their guests Uncle Phil and Aunt Sue arrived Micah and Malorie were again showered with love. Everyone dined on avocados and mangoes and thoroughly enjoyed each others company.

Tyson sat on the couch and watched.

Finally, Easter weekend had come to an end. As Micah and Malorie were splashing in the tub getting ready for bed, they reminisced about the wonderful weekend through ba ba's and ga ga's. By 7:00 they were fast asleep.


Once the kids were in bed, Tyson realized he was still awake! He sat on the porch with his parents and realized now was HIS time. He had been patient and finally rewarded the way a good dog should . His mom got out his Easter scarf and gave him a new "pizza". Indeed, it was a Happy Easter for all in the land of Klugsville.

Daddy's Girl

There is not a day that goes by that someone doesn't comment on the fact that Mal looks like me and Micah takes after Rachel. Micah has his mother's height, blond hair and impatience. Mal's got my brown coif, tiny feet and appetite for sweets. Usually, the person in the crowd making the observation says some thing like, "oh, she's just Daddy's little girl!"

Well, this week, Daddy's little girl has been sick. Snotty. Sleepy. All together sad and sucky. So, on Thursday Malorie was excluded from the weekly playgroup that she, her mother and brother have been participating in for the last few weeks. Luckily, I had the late shift at work, and so Micah and Mom got to go to the play group while sick little Mal and Daddy stayed home.

Staying home with my infant female prototype did not phase me in the least. Don't get me wrong: I love Micah, but he is currently in the infamous "Velociraptor" phase, where he shrieks at the top of his lungs all the time, pinches everything he can reach with his grubby little fingers, and generally is mean as all get out. Basically, he has become a boy. Mal, on the other hand, is a study in patience, silence, and serenity. When Micah screams, Mal watches intently. When Micah grabs, twists and yanks, Malorie smiles and plays coy. So, if there were one baby that I had to choose to watch for a few hours during my rest period before work, it would be Mal by a landslide.

During our Daddy/Daughter day together, Mal and I took a nap (twenty minutes longer than Mom ever allows), watched a few cartoons (she does not like Handy Manny as much as Micah, but I still like it the same), ate some spinach for lunch (we set the record for the most times singing Popeye the Sailor Man's theme song in thirty minutes), and the went for a walk (Mal held my hands the whole time. I loved her more and more with each step).

Micah and Mom got home from the playgroup just in time for naps, and Mal was still sick. Snot running, eyes watering, and absolutely still suffering. Mom sucked out Mal's nostrils with the mean, blue snot sucker, made sure Mal didn't have a temperature, and ensured the house was quiet enough for solid baby slumber. These were all things Daddy would not have done, as I was intent on teaching Mal to pet Tyson instead of following the usual daily Mom prescribed pattern. Although Mal's afternoon with Daddy didn't make her feel any less sick, oddly enough, it did make me feel better. Under the weather or not, Mal Pal is still without a doubt, Daddy's little girl.

Is That The REAL Easter Bunny?

I can hear it now. I may as well write it. No, Micah and Mal, that is not the REAL Easter bunny you visited when you were babies. That is a super nice woman with way too much pink makeup and a Halloween costume. Here's how it came to be that you're first encounter with the Easter Bunny turned out like a scene in some corny television sitcom...

Sunday afternoons used to be sacred around here. After a morning at church, I would sit on my duff, watching seasonal sports and usually falling asleep on the couch. Rachel would either catch up on some teacher work or be out shopping for something or another. After nearly eight months of crazy, non-routine Sundays, last Sunday fell right into our wheelhouse. The babies fell asleep at about one-thirty, and by one-thirty two Rachel was racing out the door to go shopping at Target. I, for my part, settled in on the couch to watch March Madness and fall asleep. It was a welcomed blast from the past.

Then, somewhere between a jump shot and a snore, Rachel called the house with urgent news. "Billy, the Easter Bunny is at Peterbrooke," she exclaimed. "The pictures are free. Can we bring the kids?" My nostalgic nap interrupted and the magic word (free) having been uttered, I was left without choice in the matter; as soon as the kids awoke we would see the rabbit.

Once the kids awoke, we fed them a quick bottle, fetched their church clothes out of the hamper, and thrust the kids into the car seats. A quick drive later the family arrived at Peterbrooke Chocolatier, a local favorite for all things delicious. Evidently, though, they are not quite as good with cameras as they are at cocoa. Upon arriving at the store we were greeted by the "Easter Bunny," who was nothing more than a woman wearing Ralphie's Christmas gift from his Aunt and a bit too much blush. Anyway, insert poor lighting, some delectable chocolates in the background, and a couple distracted kiddos and you have our first Easter photo. Maybe next Sunday, I'll get a real Sunday nap. Maybe next year you kids can meet the REAL Easter Bunny too.

A Tale of Two Cities

GAINESVILLE, FL: I've been chasing my MBA for about 18 months now, and I have to fulfill a requirement by attending a one week course on the campus of the University of Florida. I chose a marketing class and have all the required books and a positive attitude. Although I will have to spend about 18 hours per day working on marketing, a concept I vaguely remember from my days at Mizzou, I am excited about the class. This student is ready to learn!

JACKSONVILLE, FL: With Billy away in Gainsville for the entire week, I was really concerned. Grandma Finck flew in to the rescue and saved me from spending the entire week alone with the kids teaming up on me. This is her first time seeing the babies since Christmas, and she is staying all week. We decided to go shopping and found out that, true to the stereotype, Micah HATES it. We tried Kohl's, Babies R Us, Publix, the dollar store, even Home Depot, and he had a screaming fit in every store. (Let this be a warning to you, Aunt Chris, YOU WILL BE THE ONE TO HOLD MY 20 POUND SON WHEN YOU WANT TO TAKE US SHOPPING FOR AN ENTIRE DAY!) On the contrary, Malorie seems to truly enjoy shopping. She sits in the little buggie kicking, smiling, and touching the clothes as we walk by. We even caught our little Wynonna Rider taking a dress off the rack and hiding it in her lap. Remind me to teach her that stealing isn't allowed.

GAINESVILLE, FL: SPSS and SAS software... Analytical conjoint analysis and perceptual maps... Multi Attribute Attitude Modeling and market simulations. Who knew marketing was this complicated and why didn't you tell me before I signed up for this class? My brain hurts.

JACKSONVILLE, FL: With the sun shining and the cool spring breezes blowing, the babies were craving the outside, so Grandma and I got the kids out to discover the neighborhood park. The only thing Micah and Mal were really able to do was swing, as they are still a bit too small for hanging on the monkey bars or sliding. Based on the giggles he emits, I guess that Micah seems to enjoy the act of swinging more than his sister. Mal mostly just likes to look around, turning her head from side to side and waving at the other kids at the park. OK, not really, but it looks like she's giving a quick "Hey" to one of her girlfriends, doesn't it?

GAINESVILLE, FL: I feel like a kid at summer camp who is so homesick his stomach hurts and just wants to go home. This is the longest I've had to be away from the kids so far, and it has been tougher than I expected. Rachel sent me pictures and they looked a little different than when I left on Monday - bigger, stronger, and wearing stupid red Cardinals outfits. I have to get home soon to stop the brainwashing! Keep fighting it, Micah, keep fighting it.

JACKSONVILLE, FL: Grandma Finck loves to swim, so the pool has become an every day excursion. Malorie got a beautiful new bathing suit and has really opened up to the idea of swimming, kicking and splashing like a pro. Mal has also discovered how to click her tongue and for some reason she tries really hard while we are at the pool. It is super cute and all the lifeguards and random strangers are already falling in love with her. Grandma Finck also got us another floatation device so that we can play bumper cars in the pool, which Micah loves. It's too bad Billy can't be here to see this.

GAINESVILLE, FL:

MBA, Schmem-B-A, now I know why kids skip school.

Back to the Future

Remember the '80's? Back when Aerosmith was making awesome music, New York City was full of crime and people were wearing ridiculous clothes. Wait... that might have been the '70's. Or the '90's for that matter. Well, let's go with Brat Pack films, Bananarama and Mrs. Pacman. Yeah, that's more like it. Anyway, the '80's were cool, and so Rachel and I decided to ditch the kids and go to a 1980's theme party. That's right.... parental responsibilities out the window, we hired our first official babysitter!

In full disclosure, we've actually had our parents and various relatives watch the kids a few times before, but this was the first time we trusted strangers with Micah and Mal, and it felt momentous. The babysitter for our seven month old duo was a 12 year old wunderkind named Virginia, accompanied by her mother Katherine (and a stuffed pig). Rachel and I know Katherine and Virginia from church. In fact, Rachel used to teach with Katherine and we have watched Virginia grow up since she was a first-grader, so we completely trusted the team (except for the stuffed pig, who we patted down at the door).

Rachel and I spent our night without the kids time-travelling to the days of MTV, Wheel of Fortune and the Karate Kid. OK, that could also be now... How about the days of Huey Lewis and Andy Kaufman? Anyway, our friends Rob and Jaime rented out a section of a local watering hole to throw the retro-shindig in celebration of Jaime's birthday. For our '80's costumes, Rachel and I improvised with items around the house. I went as a 1980's cowboy, complete with a pearl button shirt, sweet belt buckle and skinny tie. Rachel worked the side pony tail and neon bracelets to perfection. I'm still not sure why the neon bracelets were in her closet, but she looked great nonetheless.

In the 80's there was a movie called "Adventures in Babysitting," and while the twins first night with a 'sitter wasn't quite as exciting as in the movie, it wasn't without adventure. While Rachel and I were out walking like Egyptians, Micah and Mal both woke up for the babysitters and needed to be rocked back to sleep. Also, Rachel and I stayed out until ten pm, which felt like about 4 am in 1980's time. As soon as we got home, we thanked Virginia and Katherine (never said thanks to the pig) and hit the sack; Rachel and I were whooped. I guess time travelling is tougher than it looks, just ask Marty McFly. Finally, an 80's reference that works!

Happy Birthday Daddy!

Today Micah and Malorie woke up wanting to wish their daddy a happy birthday. I had to tell them that he wasn't here because he is learning all kinds of new stuff so that he can get a good job and we can move to St. Louis. They completely understood, but still wanted to give their daddy some sweet birthday wishes...

Mal said, "Daddy thank you for being the best snuggle buddy I could ever ask for. I love you and miss you very much!"

Micah said, "Daddy you make me laugh better than anyone in the world! I love you and can't wait to play with you when you get home!"

Hope you have a wonderful day Billy! Your family thinks you are amazing! Thanks for being the best dad/dog dad/husband in the world!