Sunday, August 15, 2010

It's Like Good Versus Evil Only With Baby Hair

"If you cut her hair, I will cut yours. I will shave my name in the back of your head while you sleep."

"No you won't," Rachel correctly replied back to me saucily. But, I hope I made my point. I was making my final stand in defense of my poor Mal's pretty hair. You see, Rachel thinks Malorie's hair has grown too much in the back, and now resembles a mullet. So, Rach wants to cut it off.

I tried to tell Rachel of all the great people in the world who were bald on top with long hair in back like Mal, but all I could think of was Ben Franklin and my old Finance professor. Then, I told Rachel that I imagined my baby girl's first haircut being done in some fun salon where she sits in a pink Cadillac shaped chair and gets a lollipop when it's all over, not in our dimly lit bathroom with Rachel holding her down with one hand and chopping wildly with the other. When my appeals to her sense of reason and sentimentality had both failed, I threatened retributive follicular assault.

Obviously I will not cut Rachel's hair. We spend about three hundred bucks a month on shampoo and electricity to power her blow dryer and hair crimper thing. So, I'm almost out of options to keep Mal's beautiful hair that she's worked so hard for on her head. That's why I'm taking to the Internet. I need you out there to let Rachel know how wrong she is about wanting to cut Mal's hair before it even gets a chance to properly grow in.

So, who are you with? Is it Team Billy or Team Rachel? Team Mal Pal or Team Mean Mom? Team Sunshine or Team Scissors? Team Good or Team Evil? Take to your keyboards. Rise up on email, comment on the blog, Facebook Rachel. Help me save Mal's baby duck butt hair-do. If nothing else, just distract Rachel long enough for me to have time to hide the scissors.


  1. I probably shouldn't mention this, but I went to school with a pair of twins who told the class their mother and aunts maintained that if you shaved a baby's head, the hair would grow back thicker.

    Be that as it may, I'll vote with Team Billy.

  2. Gosh, this is as hard as the '85 World Series, having wanted to be the first woman shortstop for the Cards for half my life, but living in KC with a die hard Royals fan! I could NEVER root against either team. So I didn't. And I was happy at the end of every game because my "favorite" always won. And yes, I was at the victory parade in KC.
    I'm choosing to take the same stand here, and root for both Rachel, my darling niece and godchild, and for Billy, a shining superstar of a husband and daddy. I'll support both of you because you're both just such darn adorable parents!!!
    (No, I'm never going to run for public office!)

  3. Mom says you guys want to end the blog, You just cant We love it! We text each other everytime theres a new post!!! I check it weekly for updates!! Kaileb love getting new pictures of the twins to look at (cause they are the backiground on my laptop and he feeds the pictures lunch everyday!!!) You cant stop posting!!! Besides this year there will be so many funny things to post about they are mobile and they are talking and getting into stuff and saying funny things!!! Dont stop yet!!!