I tried to tell Rachel of all the great people in the world who were bald on top with long hair in back like Mal, but all I could think of was Ben Franklin and my old Finance professor. Then, I told Rachel that I imagined my baby girl's first haircut being done in some fun salon where she sits in a pink Cadillac shaped chair and gets a lollipop when it's all over, not in our dimly lit bathroom with Rachel holding her down with one hand and chopping wildly with the other. When my appeals to her sense of reason and sentimentality had both failed, I threatened retributive follicular assault.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
It's Like Good Versus Evil Only With Baby Hair
"If you cut her hair, I will cut yours. I will shave my name in the back of your head while you sleep."
"No you won't," Rachel correctly replied back to me saucily. But, I hope I made my point. I was making my final stand in defense of my poor Mal's pretty hair. You see, Rachel thinks Malorie's hair has grown too much in the back, and now resembles a mullet. So, Rach wants to cut it off.
Obviously I will not cut Rachel's hair. We spend about three hundred bucks a month on shampoo and electricity to power her blow dryer and hair crimper thing. So, I'm almost out of options to keep Mal's beautiful hair that she's worked so hard for on her head. That's why I'm taking to the Internet. I need you out there to let Rachel know how wrong she is about wanting to cut Mal's hair before it even gets a chance to properly grow in.
So, who are you with? Is it Team Billy or Team Rachel? Team Mal Pal or Team Mean Mom? Team Sunshine or Team Scissors? Team Good or Team Evil? Take to your keyboards. Rise up on email, comment on the blog, Facebook Rachel. Help me save Mal's baby duck butt hair-do. If nothing else, just distract Rachel long enough for me to have time to hide the scissors.