CHAPTER ONE: Our tale begins with Rachel, the lovely matron of the Klug household. Rachel celebrated her 29th birthday last weekend. Unfortunately for her, the birthday began with her crying. The twins had kept her up most of the night, she had a painful clogged milk duct, and her husband was leaving for Gainesville to attend his business school classes for the weekend. If you think Rachel's birthday was brightened by a baby's smile, turn to chapter three. If you predict Rachel's birthday was livened up by a near death experience, turn to chapter five. And if you envision Rachel muddling through the weekend without her husband and then was so sleep deprived that she hallucinated, flip to chapter six.
CHAPTER TWO: Malorie's tiny nostrils have been a source of worry for us from the get go. First, they were too small to get the feeding tube down in the NICU. Then, since we have gotten her home, she has had the snorking problem where it sounds like she struggles to breathe. However, recently Rachel has been using the aspirator to pull some boogers the size of earthworms out of the tiny holes. The green, slimy slugs have relieved a great amount of pressure from Mal's nose, and have created a great bit of entertainment for Rachel and me. If you agree laughing at boogers is silly and that we need more entertainment, see chapter seven. If you believe boogers are the craziest thing we've seen this week, see chapter six. And if you wonder what Micah does instead of hording monstrous snots in his nasal cavities, see chapter three.
CHAPTER THREE: Rachel's days have a brand new routine that has the house abuzz. When Micah wakes to feed, Rachel will hold him in one arm and tickle him with the other. Micah has discovered his smile, which absolutely lights up the house like birthday candles. If you want to know what Malorie does to compensate for her brother's smile, see chapter two. For Tyson's reaction to baby smiles, burps and farts, see chapter four. And if you surmise Micah should hit the town with his new found glee, see Chapter seven.
CHAPTER FOUR: For the first few weeks Tyson avoided the burping, farting, crying machines with all his might. However, over the past few days he has started sniffing the twins out. We believe this curious phase is en route to Tyson's eventual acquiescence to being Micah and Malorie's best bud. It's only a matter of time. Until then, we'll still arrange for him to get out of the house for play dates with his dog pals Onyx, Lucci and Nani. To see how the babies get some time away from Tyson, see Chapter seven. If you think Tyson should stay home more in case someone coughs up some food on the floor, see chapter six. And, if you wonder whether Tyson makes Micah smile, see chapter three.
CHAPTER FIVE: The night of her birthday, in between the five o'clock and eight o'clock feedings, Rachel and her two buddies Kat and Sheryl tried to sneak in a few Yum Yum and Crunch Crunch rolls from a local sushi joint that needs some help giving their fare some creative names. While apparently trying to eat fast fast, Sheryl choked on a Yum... or maybe it was a Crunch. Anyway, our website-designer/photographer/life-saver friend Kat saved the day by performing the Heimlich Maneuver, thereby shooting the rice and seafood from Sheryl's throat and right onto Tyson's floor. If you think Tyson sniffs only half chewed seafood, see chapter four. If you think the house is too dangerous, and so Rachel should get out more, see chapter seven. And if you guess a gasping girlfriend was the worst part of Rachel's birthday, return to chapter one.
CHAPTER SIX: The other night, I woke to the alarm to feed the kids. I began getting up, and then said over my shoulder, "Rach, time to get up." Without moving, Rachel exclaimed, "Mal is chuggin' this!" I spun around quickly, not anticipating babies to be feeding yet, and my instincts were correct. Rachel was sound asleep and Malorie was still snug in her bassinet. "Rach," I said, "Mal is still asleep in her bed." "Oh," said my dejected wife after her dreams were ruined. If you think Rachel was tired from hitting the town with the babies, see chapter seven. If you want Rachel to get more relaxing time with her friends, see chapter five. And if you are interested in what Malorie actually does, see chapter two.
CHAPTER SEVEN: Micah and Malorie have been putting on their boogie shoes (ok, only Micah wears shoes) and hitting the town with their parents this week. Early in the week they returned to Walmart. On Wednesday, their thirst for adventure not yet quenched, the twins attended a Navy ceremony called a Hail and Farewell at River City Brewhouse. Then, to complete their trio of trips, they crashed a house party at our friends the Loucks' house on Saturday night. Rachel and I are starting to feel more and more comfortable taking the twins out; I guess you could say we are finally able to start choosing our own adventures.
Woof, all the blogging this weekend has made me tired. I choose for this adventure to end.