the past two weeks, Malorie has gradually joined the "sleeping through the night" club. She began to sleep further into the morning the day after Rachel's parents left, and before we knew it she had slept until at least 6 a.m. on three consecutive nights. That's why last Thursday was so perplexing. Malorie had a great day in terms of her meals, and so Rachel and I anticipated a good night's sleep, which can be very addicting. Little did we know that it would go down as a night of parenting infamy in the Klug house.Out of nowhere, Mal woke up screaming at 2:30. We knew she didn't need to eat, so I gave her a pacifier. She fell back asleep, but the restless slumber didn't last long. On my third trip to console her, at about 4:30, I decided to bring her back to bed with me to try to get her to sleep more soundly. However, upon laying her on my chest, I realized she smelled like the inside of a Port-o-Let on a hot summer day. Distinctly, I remember mumbling to Rachel, "I think she pooped. I should go change her." But, after a conversation with my groggy wife that consisted of about 6 words and 24 different types of grunts, I decided the diaper change would wake Malorie up. Besides, what was a few more hours of sleep going to hurt?
Mal slept there on my chest until I woke for work at 6:30 but that last REM cycle cost more than I bargained for. By morning time, Mal's dirty diaper had caused a bad rash. For the next three days, our poor pretty princess screamed bloody murder during every diaper change as we wiped her sore bottom clean. Rachel and I took the abuse she yelled at us, all the while knowing it was our fault she was hurting. It took a full three days for her rash to finally clear. Now I'm no fool. I know that I have decades of parenting left, during which I will make countless mistakes that will make me feel guilty, disappointed and rotten. But, since this time is the first time I've felt those feelings, I decided to let my stomach churn a bit longer than Mal's butt burned. And for now, I'm resolute that I will not let her sleep through a dirty diaper again. I just have to remember to remind myself of Mal's poor sleep rash the next time she wakes me up at 2 a.m.
Don't beat yourself up too bad - I didn't even know my first little sweetie even had a rash until cousin Janet and her toddler came to visit, and noticed it. I said it wasn't a rash because it didn't have raised bumps, it was just bright hot pink. (still makes me groan 27 years later.) Years of ICU nursing with adults did not prepare me for the first week of motherhood. I understand the self-recrimination, though. We just can't help feeling guilty, even for something we simply did not know and hadn't experienced yet. So glad her little bottom is back to being as soft as a baby's bottom again.
ReplyDeleteawww, the baby bum. fear not, you'll have plenty of more episodes ahead to feel guilty about something with regards to parenting... like letting your son dump out ALL the blocks so that he can walk on top of them, thereby slipping, falling, and busting his face on the hardwood floor.
ReplyDeletei'm just hypothetically speaking...
Dont feel bad..it happens to all of us! One time We let Layna 'cry it out' when she was really little..only to go in there a few hrs later to find she had thrown up all over herself and was soaking wet!! Oops..GUILTY FEELING!! Cant wait to see you guys in a week!
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