Alright Already!

During a sporting event, it's pretty obvious when the crowd turns on a player. Usually it starts with some crazed fan chanting something, and ends with an entire stadium repeating the entire thing. If they are in a city filled with dumb people, like maybe Cincinnati, they will just yell, "boo" at the top of their lungs. If they are in a town filled with smarty-pants, like Columbia, Missouri, they will actually chant words, like this... "AIR-BAAAALLLLL, AIR BAAAALLLLL." If they are in Chicago, they end up attacking the person, like at Comiskey Park where an umpire got mobbed for a bad call. They are just as ruthless at Wrigley, where a fan bum-rushed pitcher Bobby Howry on the mound two seasons ago.

Well, I am no dummy. I can hear the chants starting around this blog-dom (I just made that up. It's like a kingdom, but for a blog). After the last posting, there was some idle chatter from our friend Nicole, who posted a response of, "belly pic!" Then, another friend called to cite the lack of belly pictures in the last posting. Finally, things hit the roof last night when someone called me from an unlisted number and just started chanting, "BELL-LY PIC, BELL-LY PIC" at the top of their lungs. They were probably drunk, and would have bum-rushed me had we lived in the same town or were attending a sporting event in Chicago!

So, without further ado, here is my attempt at redemption: Rachel at 20 weeks. I have mockingly told everyone who has asked me this week that Rachel is "blowin' up." We are patiently waiting for her to start feeling the babies move around in there. It is clear they are getting bigger, so it should just be a matter of time before they're kicking her in the ribs and knocking their heads against her belly button.

The next doctors appointment is Monday. We'll be meeting the new doctor who will be delivering us at Baptist's. I am not sure if we get some more pictures of Red and Lellow or not, but rest assured that I will post them if we do.

This week, in honor of those two-syllable names that people like to chant at sporting events (chant along at home if you like), here are some names that we will not be naming our kids: Manny, Barry, Mya, and Tammy

World Reunion Tour

Have you ever noticed how some bands get together every decade or so, usually when the lead singer is broke or sober, and put on some grandiose tour around the nation. They hit all the old haunts, have a good time, and then disappear again into old age or obscurity. Well, Rachel and I had a reunion tour, of sorts, in the past few weeks. We hit our old hometowns of St. Louis, Chicago and San Antonio over two weeks, meeting up with friends and family and having a great time. Usually the bands will put out some sort of live album to commemorate their tour. However, I only know how to play the clarinet and Rachel sings like Peter Brady going through puberty, so our album would not sell. Instead, Rachel and I decided to make a photo slideshow of the trip (with captions to help explain).

Rachel and I took Red and Lellow to their first baseball

game on Opening Day in St. Louis. It was a beautiful day for

a game, 26 degrees in the wind and humid. The twins

thought they would like the Cards based on their womb

names, but the Cardinals blew a late lead, and Red

and Lellow decided they would rather be Cubs fans.

Rachel, her sister Chris and I made the Italian favorite

Gnocchi. It consists of potato mush, flour, and probably

some other stuff Chris added while I was goofing off.

The food was served at Rachel's Great Aunt Irma's wake.

Irma, you were loved greatly and you will be missed.

One of our favorite parts of the trip was getting

to know our friends Jenna and Karl's daughter

Layna's alter ego, "Super Naked Baby." Her super

power is making clothes disappear and pajamas

appear. It usually happens right around bedtime.

Rachel and I got to tour Chris and Bob's new bar and

grill, Hessler's. It was awesome and the food was great.

So, if you happen to be in South County St. Louis,

you should go to Hessler's and drink a beer with Bob.

This is a picture of me listening to my grandfather/ namesake.

He was probably telling me a story about how the twins

will be Cubs fans.

Here is Mike and Rachel relaxing at Grandpa's house.

I'm not sure if it is a lighting trick, but I can almost see

Rachel's pregnancy glow in this shot. It looks like a blue

halo. Oh, nevermind, I think that is one of those toilet donuts.

This is us with the Klug family at our Godson Kaileb's

baptism. He is the good lookin' bald one in the middle

front. You may not be able to tell from there, but he

had the coolest white suit I have ever seen. I wish I

could have worn one just like it to prom.

Here we are with the Finck family the next day,

Easter Sunday. You will notice that Blue, the cat, is

in the picture while Mom Finck is conspicuously missing.

I posted this one because the picture Blue took with Mom

Finck in it didn't come out too well.

While we were gone, we got a call that Tyson had fleas. He

was suffering from itching and red swollen bites, and not

rocking out on awesome bass guitar riffs, so I deduced that it

was probably the flea on the left. Big thanks to Pat and Kat

for taking care of our sick dog while we toured the US.

We went with our friends Pickle and Jill to the Alamo. Well,

actually we went to the Alamo Cafe. But, just like the

Alamo it had no basement. Also just like the Alamo

they had terrific pancakes. Oh, nevermind, apparently

The Alamo is not remembered for pancakes.

Here is Rachel enjoying the first Non-Alcoholic beer of her

life. She told me it tasted just like the real thing, but I

tried it... it tasted like someone had spilled an almost empty

beer into a glass of river water. Barf!

The reason we went to San Antonio in the first place in fact

was not to eat Alamo pancakes, but to attend our friends Mike

and Maria's wedding. Rachel and I actually set Mike and Maria

up about five years ago. Look at 'em now, eh!

Finally, after the wedding Rachel and I settled down for

some good old fashioned wedding reception crashing. You may not

notice, but I found a neon pink sombrero in the hallway

at the reception hall. I decided to try to pose like one

of those old Mexican portraits from the 1800s too. Yep,

crazy as it sounds, Rachel still thinks I am adult enough to be a dad.

Friday I'm In Love

It took a while to get here, but the day Rachel and I had been waiting for finally arrived today. We got to see our babies again. It has been four long weeks since our last appointment, which probably does not seem long to normal couples. But to us, a couple who had to be monitored every three days, it was an eternity. I was as giddy as a child on Christmas morning when I woke up today. Also, with it being Friday, I had post-title/Cure song stuck in my head all morning. Rachel, with her nerves of steel, had a tummy ache which I believe to be anxiety induced.

We both took the entire day off of work today for our round of two appointments. Our first appointment was at ROC, which specializes in high-risk prenatal care. They performed ultrasound scans on the children for about 20-25 minutes. The results of which I can tell you are:

1. Lellow is 7 oz. now, Red is 8.

2. Lellow's heart rate was 159, Red's was 153.

Based upon facts 1 and 2, I am now more convinced than ever that Lellow will be a svelte, speedy outfielder type and Red will be a lovable, possibly portly catcher. But, I digress...

3. They are both in the normal range for all anatomical factors, including but not limited to arm and leg length, head size, heart rate, weight and awesomeness.

4. I confess, they did not have a machine to measure their awesomeness, but it was apparent.

Also, I convinced the extremely unenthusiastic nurse to label their sonogram pictures Red and Lellow instead of A and B. I am fairly certain that the only reason she did it was to prevent me from talking anymore about how they arrived at those two "womb" names. The picture with Red's name on it looks as though he is wearing a Halloween mask, so I didn't post it. The nurse did determine the sex of the twins, but luckily I reminded her that we didn't want to know. I can't imagine how lame it would have been to find out the sex from Monotone Mary the nurse anyway.

Nurse: "This one's a boy."

Rachel: (tearing up) "I knew it, oh my gosh, I'm so happy..."

Billy: (holding Rachel's hand and smiling at the screen) "A boy... This is so cool..."

Nurse: "Yeah, whatever, please hold still (yawn)... I have eight other patients to get through before I can finish my sudoku puzzle."

After Debbie Downer the nurse left the room, Rachel decided she had not seen enough of the kiddos. She took matters into her own hands and snuck some extra sonogram shots. Although it was fun to break the rules, I can see now why they don't sell sonogram machines to the public (you know, besides the prohibitively high cost and all). It was kind of like watching a scrambled cable channel... I think I saw an elbow, but it might have been a close-up of a placenta. Also, we think we saw one of the babies spines but it might have been that Cheeto Rachel accidentally swallowed whole on Tuesday. Either way, Rachel needs to stick to teaching because sonogram tech is simply not a good career choice for her.

Once the doctor arrived, our fun got a bit dampened. We were informed that there is a small cyst on or near Red's brain. Before we could sound the alarm for pregnancy scare number two, the doctor informed us that he thinks it is nothing serious and should disappear before our next visit in four weeks. He based this on the fact that Red is active and measures absolutely fine in all other tests.

Later in the afternoon, we had our second appointment. This one was with Rachel's OB/GYN, or should I say former OB/GYN. Our decision to change doctor's had nothing to do with Dr. Kim-Aschi, who is a terrific doctor. It was instead spurned by our desire to deliver in a hospital with which she does not work. During our last appointment we learned that Dr. Kim-Aschi intended for us to deliver at Memorial Hospital. We had never been to Memorial, but had heard some poor reports about it from local friends. A few weeks ago, we toured the delivery and recovery wards of Memorial and our originally preferred hospital, Baptist's. After some painstaking thought, Rachel and I decided that we would prefer to deliver at Baptist's, even if it meant changing doctors. Although both Hospitals are highly regarded for great infant care, Baptist's has a superior NICU, which may come in handy should there be any complications during the first few days. Also, we are closer to Baptist's, and Rachel and I know the layout of the hospital and surrounding area well since we had all of our infertility treatments there. So, this afternoon, we broke up with Dr. Kim-Aschi and her clinic, and are off into the great unknown. We will be setting up an appointment with a new clinic next week. I hope our doctor is either a woman or has a mustache.

Well, that's about it for now. The names we ruled out this week are all takes on alcohol. I gave up drinking for Lent this year, and so as a couple, we have decided to abstain from names that are based on booze, such as Tequala, Vidka, Dewars and the ever-popular baby name Willer Lite.

March Madness Is Real!

Over the years, several people have wondered aloud about what malady will be next to plague modern man. So, I would not be surprised if between reports of West Nile Virus, Bird Flu, SARS, Spanish Influenza, Restless Leg Syndrome, Spinal Meningitis, Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, Hepatitis C (not to mention the underachieving and lesser known and Hepatitis' D and F) you have neglected to learn about a sickness called March Madness.

Every year, people all over the world stop working and are preternaturally drawn to watching college basketball. This is a force of nature that is magnificent to watch I tell you - it is like spawning salmon or something. It's not like people are watching their alma maters here folks... I mean, I am recovering from a bout of March Madness myself. I watched games involving teams like Western Kentucky, Radford and Robert Morris College. Who knew a college that advertises during the Jerry Springer Show had one of the 64 best basketball teams in the nation?. I screamed myself hoarse watching a Villanova game. I even sunk so low as to watch KU play a game - barf!

CBS has done a great job of capitalizing on this affliction. They broadcast games on their station and stream every game online. You know, to help the sickly who need more basketball to get better. Also, they have an ingenious "Boss button" on their website, so if you decide to go into work while battling March Madness, you can conceal your problem. You press the "Boss button" and a fake Excel spreadsheet opens covering the game you were sneaking in on company time.

This year, Rachel and I got pretty into the NCAA tournament. Our team, the Missouri Tigers, made a valiant run to the Elite 8. My brother Mike, who is staying with us, had never seen the tournament before. So, we started a bracket with Mike and six other friends. The winner gets to choose where we all go out to dinner. Currently, Rachel is in the lead - but I sense a choke coming on... her Champion Team, Pittsburgh, lost last night. We will see if her lead holds up.

In the meantime, we are just under a week from our next appointment. On Friday we will have new sonograms of the twins and more pregnancy related info. For now, enjoy the belly progress pic of Rachel. Even though the Tigers are eliminated from the tournament, she refuses to take that Tiger Tail off. It was not too bad until she wore it to church. It made communion just plain weird.

Names we ruled out while watching the NCAA Tournament this week - DuJuan, DayQuan, DeMarre, and Hasheem.

Nesting

So birds gather twigs and leaves and sometimes those plastic things from the top of a six pack of cola and make a nest for their babies. Sometime throughout history, if I remember correctly from high school health class it was in 846 A.D, a woman saw a birds nest and decided it looked cozy. Then evolution took over, and from that time forward all women naturally flock to Babies 'R' Us (which was not nearly as cool back in the dark ages) and make a sort of nest before their babies come. They pick out cribs and test drive strollers and mostly buy stuff men and man-birds do not think children need. They paint stuff too - women, not birds. Actually, I guess birds can't paint because they have no thumbs and also aren't welcome at the paint counter at Home Depot. However, come to think of it, I have seen birds paint in cartoons before. I should probably no longer base my perception of reality on cartoons.

Anyway, Rachel took evolution to another level and used her crazy woman brain to concoct a plan to make me nest for her. She complained of paint fumes being bad for kids, and then of general tiredness, and thus compelled my silly man-brain to be chivalrous and paint for her. However, all things being equal, I then used my natural instinct to boss my younger brother Mike to help me paint, and we got it done faster. Now, the babies room is yellow.

Also, the nesting instinct took hold in Rachel's mom, Judy. Judy flew into town (I also don't think Grandmother birds do this, but I have also seen this in cartoons. I guess this is yet another reason not to trust cartoons) to paint some crafty mural on the wall. I wanted a grandiose jungle scene complete with pumas and monkeys and Rachel wanted something slightly smaller. I'll let you all see the pictures to see who won that battle. Also, Rachel abandoned her paint fumes excuse just in time to sit and watch her mom paint. She said something about it being "craft paint" and thus not going to hurt the children. I think she told me she read that in a baby book - but I think she probably tricked me. Anyway, Judy did a great job and the room is starting to take shape. It still doesn't look like a nest though. I guess I should bring home some of those plastic things from the top of a six pack.

Everybody's 28 Somehow

I turned 28 last week and celebrated by taking a week off from posting on the blog. Just kidding, I have actually been very busy both at work and at home this week. However, due to the negative feedback from not posting for nearly two weeks, I will post two, count 'em, two blog posts tonight. Please forgive the tardiness and pretend you read this post one week ago.

Happy birthday to me - I wanna run (pronounced "ruuuun"). This year Jacksonville's annual River Run was on my birthday. Since I am not much of a birthday guy, I decided there was no better way to celebrate than to punish my body for growing old by running 9.3 miles with several thousand other people.

I last ran the River Run three years ago, and back then I trained for it mercilessly. But then two years ago I didn't get to participate because I was gone on my deployment overseas. Last year Rachel and I trained for the River Run, but then I got extended overseas again and didn't return from Italy until the night before the race. I was too jet-lagged to get up the next morning and run. This year, I decided to run the race without training. If nothing else it would be a good study to see how much worse I ran than three years ago. Astonishingly, 28 year-old Billy kept pace with 25-year-old Billy throughout the whole race. In fact, I finished the race in 1 hour and 20 minutes, about 1 minute faster than I ran it three years ago. I guess I am growing older and better (but apparently less modest, huh?).

As was the case three years ago, Brett and Natalie Loucks ran the race with me. However, Rachel had to sit on the sidelines this year on account of Red and Lellow. Natalie's sister Nicola came from Atlanta to run with Nat, while Rachel and my brother Mike watched the Louck's baby Tessa. This is a picture of Rachel saving Tessa from a rabid alligator that got loose at the race. I guess those maternal instincts have already kicked in.

Post-race, as I was cringing and complaining about my old-man knees and wobbly back, Rach and I figured out that the whole darn Klug Crew was 28 now. I had caught Rachel in years (she turned 28 back in September), Tyson is four people years making him 28 in dog years, and the twins are a combined 28 weeks. Rachel baked us all a birthday brownie for the post-race celebration. I wanted to make it a 28 only party, thus excluding Mike from having any brownies and ice cream, but Rachel gave him some anyway.

Ten Million Strong.... and Growing!

For those of you that don't know, Rachel ditched her normal pre-natal vitamins a few weeks ago. They were giving her some nausea, and as an added bonus made her breath smell like a cross between fish and stinky feet. Although I grew accustomed to pinching my nose when I puckered up to kiss her, she could not get used to the side effects. So, we called the doctor and they told us that she could switch to Flintstones Chewable children's vitamins.

The next day I went to the store to pick some up. As I did I recalled fond memories of chomping those suckers down as a kid and fighting with my sisters over who got to eat Dino. I'm proud to report that purple still is the best flavor. Anyway, Rachel's switch to the new vitamins got rid of the side effects, and also coincided with a growth spurt. So, feel free to sing along with "Red" and "Lellow" to the old jingle of the Flintstones vitamins as you read this. Enjoy the pic.

"We are Flintstones Kids... Ten million strong... and growing!"

Also, I had a tough weekend of tests in Gainesville for my masters degree classes. So, in honor of my finishing the tests and not passing out from the brain strain, here is a picture of me having fun at school... I mean studying.

Names ruled out this week: Beyonce and Apple (although Banana remains on the list)